Allah or Yahweh?....

1. Allah or Yahweh (or God)? Which one is a right choice to choose? In last 11 days, we were watching bunch of people were f#$@ing each other and both of them think that they’re right, that everyone of them think their damn dead ones are martyrs and they’re screwing some beautiful angel in heaven right now! When I think, aside of manipulation of other countries like our beloved country and etc. they’re killing each other to gain nothing. Nor those Israelis gonna end in some promised holly land, neither those Hezbollah people gonna end up with some lovely angel! I think they’re both, worshipping false idols. So what? At the end, what will be the outcome?

Isn’t it true that in last couple hundred years at least, that region was the place to crash the Muslim and west modern civilization plates to each other? And frankly, it’s gonna be for another couple of hundred years?
Isn’t it true that the Yahweh and Allah are both the name for one thing? The thing that never had been seen by anyone and never will be either? So, if I may be true they’re screwing each other, not for satisfying their beloved gods. They’re doing it for power, for land, for BEING….

So, pleeeeeeeeeeease, for god’s sake, stop bullshiting about your f@#@in gods and whatever...
I can’t remember I was ever be harmed by some Jewish human being. But I can say loudly, that I hate every of these damn fundamental gross Arabs that louses are marching in their damn beards! But I’m not fan of Jewish people either. In fact I hate every fundamental person who yells his/hers believes on every branch of any tree that he/she may find! So screw all of them...

2. I'd heard that god doesn’t give with both hands (!), but please look at this Tara Connor (Miss US 2006)! Wow! When god was splitting things, I think I was stuck in some damn WC or whatever!...: D
She is nominated for Miss World 2006. I recommend to all men, that if you'd felt a little bored or something, visit here! (It didn’t do any good for me! It was more envy I think! ;) )

3. It is 10 p.m. and tomorrow is my due time to give my 4 IT engineering projects. I was killing myself but suddenly I had a call, which let me know that our master extends the due time till Tuesday. So let it be for Monday night! :D
Oh god! I’ll never gonna be….! ;)

4. I wish I had an angel for one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight ….
So what else to say? Sometimes you may feel your life is so empty that you don’t have anything to talk about (You may noticed that you’d just read bunch of @$# (!) In last 4-5 minutes!).

Ich heiβe Herr. Dorafshan!...

1. ThanX god that from now on, I join the minds league in this country! I never expected to live enough and see this day! The ‘Special Occasion Committee’ of our beloved university officially rejected my request to exit my glorious country (for just 3 days!), for my significant and marvelous mind! Maybe they think there is a good possibility that I’d never came back and stay in paradise on earth, Dubai!
But Hey! It’s not that bad. At least I feel a little wanted now! Lucky me!...

2. Ich heiβe Herr. Dorafshan! :D
With accomplishing my third session of German language class, I feel so multicultural now! :D, but because of my poor knowledge about German languages abuses and damns and swear-words (!), I think I know no shit about their marvelous language! So let impart my glorious thoughts later!... ;)
(Help the brother here! It would be very kind of you, if you teach me some!)

3. If you can help me with repairing my damn cell phone (Its monitor had been broken), or U have any relatives in this business, It’s really good time to come forward! So, pleeeeeeease!......
(It’s Imate Pocket Pc Phone Edition)

4. Damn these projects! I feel I’ll do them till the day that death angel gonna kiss my ass!... :P
They’re like never-damn-ending story these days.

5. Please, read the tremendous lightening imparts of ‘Raavar’ s pray mullah about Mr. Zeidans adductive hit! (By the way, where the hell is Raavar?!)
“… Mr. Zeidan is a champion for defending pontificate and Imam Ali s province and Mrs. Fatima Alzahra!!!!!!!!!!.....” (You may wanna use some anti-filter to visit the site)
PS: Read the Mr. Zeidan mothers letter to him to condemn his no frankly act!...

6. From now on, you can pay your money to Imam Reza s bank account! The funny point in that its account number’s 8888 !
I’m sure, the richest man in this country, knows marvelous ways for spending it…

Hmm......

Hmm.....
I don't know where I should start....
This is exactly one of those days that I always wish I could just skip it, and if I may, never remember it either. These days are common in lives of all of us. But the point is some of us have the ability to not sensing it, not remembering it and even not living it (lucky them!), and of course some of us don't have this gift (like me!). These are the days that you can taste the virulent taste of life, notice the huge amount that sometimes it could suck, and gain so much hatred of everything that you can't get rid of it easily....
Simply, sometimes like nowadays, I can't laugh, I can't be happy for just a second, and the funny point is I can't even cry..... I'd be just like a stone made statue that only could be sited on my damn chair and stare at the none-existence view of my yard (!). The good point is in these moments that U feel everybody have abandoned U, nobody cares that U're even alive or not! so unless that someone wants something from U, you wouldn't be remembered! But the most horrible point is feeling the time. It never could run slower. These dark moments of life, sometimes look like a never ending story to me. Lucky those who have s.b. to help them not feeling these moments, But I strongly believe that it only make a tiny delay to it. It won’t go away, unless you’d thought your way through it. You have to know your goal, your wish, your dream….
If you don’t, you may just live with a mask that even doesn’t fool yourself...

You know? Sometime I wonder what my life is about. I feel so abandoned, that I feel I am swallowed by my dark side, by my own darkness. At these moments I fight with myself to not be judgmental, not anymore. I imagine myself like an ancient warrior who fights to get through his life…






















Sometimes U may feel good.
Sometimes U lose it.



















But then I remember, that fuck my idea (!). I’m only some spoiled brat who has everything given to him by his parents! What – even a tiny thing – does exist that I had earned it all by myself, that I had even challenged to earn it. Did I ever fight in my whole life for a thing? So please, shut up about being a warrior! …

Sometimes, I think ,due the time that I spend on these bullshit ideas, I know myself so well, that at least, I have this privilege to others. But then…
I knew that I had hated cigar smoke, all my life (at least my first 21 years!!), suddenly I blink my eyes and I see the damn cigarette in my hand, I open my drawer and – Bam – I’d be shocked to see that scene. It’s like that the empty boxes of cigarettes are fighting their ways to the surface!!!
But hey, only in a second, I’d remember, it’s me! The one who sometimes couldn’t even take a breath. So please don’t be shocked! It’s so cliché of me to be shocked for scenes like this….




















I feel like I live behind some masks that I don’t even like it myself. It’s my daily job to wear a one to live this marvelous life. One day be a cute and happy boy, some day some lover boy, someday so judgmental and some day, … etc.























Sometimes I’d be confused to select and wear which one of them! (But at least if feel good to have some choices to think about! It would make U feel a little alive!)

Someday I like to think about them. The reason to put them on. Is it really necessary? (And of
course then I wear them! All of us do it! This is our most common attribute!)


















Sometimes, this thinking would make me that confused that I wouldn’t remember which scene is right? What’s the real face of me!!?!!

And of course, it’s always scary to see the world through some mask, but then I think I would be scarier if I haven’t worn them at all!












Hmm…
And at the end of the night, here I am! Lonely and bored like always. Searching for somewhere to sit, to be stone like every other second of my glorious life.
Then I think I have to go to the bathroom. Hey! At least something is working inside me properly!!!.....



















( You may find some other photos in here.)

Dude!......

1. OK! From now on, this Sam boy is my new hero! It appears that he's some kind of must be friend(!) to all lovely girls!, and it's kind of their duty or whatever to (at least) became his friend or something!...
Good mojo (:Mojo's the expression for Manhoods Juice or whatever!..., Not that u thought, you dirty-mind ....! Euewww!...) I think!
Way to go man! Dude, U're my hero!..... :D

2. I think the xuqa is a kind of funny place. It's a catalog to hundreds of people, or what they wanna be seen at least! Sometimes just to kill the time, I spin the people profiles, Sometimes it's weird, sometime it's funny. Yesterday I saw a some (kinda gorgeous) girls profile, that she had written in her 'I'd like to meet ...' section:
"... baba nemishnaasi bikhodi add nakon. Msg am nade. Hoseleye har khaz o khilio nadaaram...." !!!...
Wow! Such a self confidence!....

2. It seems that Materatzi had said to Zeidan: "The son of a terrorist whore, so just f*** off"!!
Such a bad boy he is! It's actually funny, I think these days even in our kindergartens, this kind of sentences are so common and usual stuff to say! Hey! Maybe from now on, children would smack each others with their little heads!....
PS: Yesterday I read in some newspaper that one of our congressmen wrote a letter to Zeidan(He'll read that letter too!) and gave him his congratulations for his brave and historic defense of Islam and Muslims!!...
Also, the chief of fifa sad said that they may took away mr. Zeidans Golden Ball! So maybe in that occsion, we may give him one! Of course for defending Islam and his great prejudice, not for playing football!.... Hey! This is Iran! Who else in the world would even care about what we do?! At the best scenario, they'll laugh as hardly as they could till their asses tear up!....

3. Many people in Abadan, attached black flags to their homes doors, after dropping Brazil team in the worldcup. Even two people had a heart attack!

4. If you have some extra life and money to spare and of course no brain to use, You can subscribe in some religious weblog and they will send you to some suicide mission in Palestine! Let's make Palestine free! (Did you ever knew that during our war with Iraq, Saddam Hussein was their [Palestinians people] National Arab hero?!). Va menallaaha tofigh!....

5. These days, are 800'th birthday of Mr. Changizkhan! They're celebrating his birthday in his motherland for 3 days! Happy Birthday Changiz!....

Hey, Why not me?!...

1. I'm still dealing with consequences of my damn cell phone breaking, but it was kind of a fun experience too! For example, when I called the I-mate deputy in Iran (Gostaresh Anformatik Co.) that they may could help me to repair it, they answered me: Your phone is discontinued and if you wanna change its LCD monitor, it gonna cost you about 500-600 thousand tomans(!), but please note that for example the I-mate Jam (that is about 1.5 year newer and it has 1.3 mp camera) is now 480,000 t in the markets!!
Or at the day one of my searching in Alaedin mall, one of the shop owners tell me that for the quiet fabric and new monitor, I must pay him 180,000 tomans, and just the next day that I went there, he said: It's gonna cost you about 250,000 t! (And in response to my Maaaaaaa(!), he added, you had to accept my offer yesterday!!) [--> It seems saying "Maaaaaaa", is going to be my routine and daily job in this country!]
--> One hell of a suggestion: Never drop your cell phone!!!....

2. I really thought after this amount of repeating that famous joke about the thing that the Italian player (Materatzi I think) said to Zeidan (at Worldcup final) which drove him mad and made him heading to his chest(!) (which reveals that he asked Zizo if he's Ali Dayee?!), he will confess it too!, but he said to Guardian newspaper that he calls me "Terrorist" !!...
In my opinion, it's Zizos natural right to make that reaction, but if the Italian player, really had called him Ali Dayee, He should had him killed him by a shotgun or s.th. similar!...
PS: Zinedine Zeidan is the winner of the Germany 2006 Worldcup Golden Ball Award.
PS2: There is big chance that Mr. Mayeli Kohan will be announced as IRAN's soccer chief master! Goodbye South Africa 2010 worldcup!...

3. Ladies! Read this and learn!! Where is your manner?! Hey! Why doesn't anyone treat me like that?!!....

4. Read this! Note the potential dynamic in our glorious religion!... God! I will die happily!...

So why not?!....

1. Well Well! Save your congrats for me! I read some poem yesterday (Badbakht agar masjede aadineh besaazad, Yaa saghf foroo rizad o yaa ghebleh kaj aayad!...). I strongly believe that It's my story!!:
At my language class subscription, I broke my mobile phone the other day, and now I have to pay 180,000 tomans for changing its broken LCD monitor! Goodbye audio system for my car! :(( .....

2. Eating these Omelets at Mohammad house, is going to be a nice routine I think! Of course without Borna and Vahid, It has no fun at all! But omelet is so post modern and intellectual for us, I think! We should decide to switch to something like Dizi for example!.... You know what I mean? Something more modest! These omelets are highly intellectual I think!....

3. See for yourself, that the last government ministers, where are they now and what are they doing on these days. Read this. I must confess that I was shocked when I read that our ex-health minister, is visiting patients in Tabriz nowadays. I like him!....

4. Read this! There is a proposal for creating what they called Iranrood! It's gonna make a path from Caspian sea to Persian gulf, I think!
Part of me wanna make something funny out of it!, but after reading their documents, I'm only gonna stand-idly-by.
I think after living this big joke for more than 27 years, I mean all of us, all of Iranians, shouldn't be laughed by some proposal like this. It's just an idea. But note that only people with big dreams, achieve big goals. I'd read something about some similar (of course not this huge) projects in US, that made millions of jobs and create enough agricultural products to fed many African hungry countries (It think it's in Philadelphia, I'm not sure...).
I'm not a civil engineer, so I'm not a qualified person to say anything, but as a individual person, So why not?!....

5. There's a hot discussion in US newspapers and media about the taking a little nap between the day, for example after lunch, and Japanese people are getting used to it. Actually it's a suggested act in their country (of course, because they're workoholic! So it might save them from exact death!). But the story in US media started with publishing the film in the internet that showed a cable TV guy caught sleep in his customers couch! 300,000 people downloaded this film that it was named: "I need sleep...". So nice scandal began and the cable company, fired their poor sleepy (or maybe tired?) worker, etc.....
But I was thinking how's the situation in here? At last, my best guess and suggestion is: Declaring and setting 30 minutes "Work Time" (!) between the day time!!...
I strongly believe that, my glorious suggestion, gonna make e revolution in our bureaucratic system!!... (So, thank me later! It's OK!...)

One of Those Days...

1. This country, is unbelievable! From now on, I officially hate German language and German people too! Today I went to Iran-Austria Institute of German Language, to subscribe for their classes. I was told that it usually became crowded and nasty, so I went there near 2 hours early, even so I was Number.29 . And they wanted only 36 student. Then I noticed they wanna interview each of us. My Number was good, so without any doubt I had to get it, because about 200 people were there. But at my interview my German interviewer (interrogator!) after couple of questions, said to me: Oh! Honey! We have limited capacity (about 36) and we want to regard JUSTICE in our subscription !!! And it seems u don't have enough good reasons for learning German language, So I think you're not good fit for one of our seats !!....
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the hell?! What should I have and I don't? Maybe I should have German wife(!) or German parent that I couldn't talk with them, to make me qualified enough to learn their damn language.
It seems nowadays, everybody in this glorious country wanna make justice out of everything! Good for them. I think English people had done a impressive job to make this expression: "Fuck the duck(!)..."

2. ThanX Mr Khodaverdian! Our dear mysticism professor, gave us a great enjoy and greater pleasure with his wonderful grades and marvelous marks! I strongly believed I'm gonna get 18-20, now I'm 13 !! Thanx god that I didn't expect 15!!
Nice job! Well done! But I think the shock his face was priceless that day(!).... Read:One of common boring sessions of his damn class was on and it seemed he ain't gonna stop bullshiting about those mambo jumbo mysticism things I think(!), I was so sleepy, and I was delayed - as usual - and I couldn't get myself out of my dreams.... I heard he was saying: God will fulfill the hell with sinners. It's gonna be full capacity and they'll gonna walk on each other heads!... Etc. Just at that moment I woke up and said loudly: "So, they can make it odd and even!, Just like Tehran!!!...."
His face was priceless!!.... ;)

3. Read this. Mr. Salimi Namin said: "Iranian didn't build Takhte Jamshid."!! What should we say?!

4. Wow wow! Please read this. See what're these Dubai Arabs are building just beneath our noses! Let's see they'll gonna win with their money and Europeans brain(!) or we - Iranians - that only bitching about others works!....

5. Hot news for Vahid! Hear this (you man wanna try this!) interview with Z-bazi group (They're some Persian rappers who stationed in London). "Z-bazi Is Only One, from Caspian Sea to Persian Gulf!..."

6. My mind blew out after reading this. Some nobody professional Quran reader said that going military service, interrupt their hightech vital work!! So it'd be good if they'll be exempt from it!!
I don't know, these f[...]ers think who the hell are they? What's their outcome? What do they give to their society?!..
Of course, the country that its VIP (Very Important People) people are like this, ain't gonna improve to any good....

Night of Debauchery!....

1. Well, I'm confessing, It really sucks (!) to write in my weblog after a night of - let me call - debauchery!
Tonight after my language class, during the common boring riding to home - mostly the time I had to review her beautiful face in my damn mind for N's time(!), hmmmm - I called Vahid to make a quick chat, he asked me to go to Borna's home and he's there too. And of course chat alone is so boring!..... (Such a dirty mind you have!! Eeuww!)
Then we crush Mohamad house, and it was that moment that two parts of Borna Mohamad joint each other! Let me say, they're much more funny being attached than being in separate parts!! We should do it more!....

2. I'm starting to think serious about her, U'll hear more about this, from me! (If I'd disappear, Note that I may ran away to some desert!...)

3. Does anybody bought O-hum's new album - so called "Aloodeh" - hmm? I remember, their first album, was Nahale Heirat (1387/1999) . It Really Rocked! (Still rocks too!!) I was such a fan, you know?
They got a license to organize a concert (I think in "Taalaare Harkat"), and they even sold tickets to people (It was sold out, in two hours I think). And then unfortunately, some people from some bad places (!) forced them to cancel their concert, and blah blah (They went to US and they weren't successful there and ..., read in their site).
They sell their new album through the internet, and I love them so much that for the first time in my life,I think, I wanna pay for it!! But first, does anyone has any comment on it?!

4. Well well well, My CONGRATS to my ex-gfs dad. Finally after some lobbying !! (I don't know actually, what should I call it?!), they're able to build first IMAX cinema in Tehran and of course IRAN.
It's actually funny, sometime people that we never expect anything fun from them and some Hezbollah people, just to make money and money and more money, do things that will blow your mind! (Like having 500,000,000 tomans perfume and fragrance store!!) But again let me give my finest congrats to them. At least they're not planning to spend it in some hell hole In Saudi Arabia or f[...]in wherever place in Iraq to pay a visit to their beloved dead Imams!

[*** Important Note: I don't know, If I want to recall myself as a liberal and open-mind person ,that I want it so hard, I think the first step to being it, Is that I should accept the fact that for example actually it's their money, their earned money - I don't want to speak about the ways they earned it by - so, I shouldn't say anything about the ways they're going to spend it. But again I think spending it over some pilgrimage visit to Iraq or anything similar, is wasting it.
Then again it's their money, But.... Fuck it. It blows my mind. Where should I know that I am appropriate person to judge them or not? Is this kind of judgment blows my liberality attribute? Who knows?
But I think, and I strongly believe It's a much much big problem for us, Iranians I mean.
Lets see! I think in last 1000 years at least, one of our most common scene in our villages is this:
Any common villagers in any place and village (we can extend it to cities too), all the year bitches about his/her situation and so many financial problem that he/she may has. So, thanks to lord and chance and whatever, in some special year, the raining is fine and fortunately that person is not sitting on his ass. So his/her outcome became double or whatever...
Now, what do you think he is going to do with his newly earned money? Buy some combine? New tractor? Buy a new home? Good investment? Digging some new water well or new canal??Ho Ho! No! If he's not so fortunate, he stand his ass up, collect his things and travels to that damn shit hole cities, like Mashhad or Qom and of course spend to his/her last toman in there, buying some mambo jumbo souvenirs, some fuckin religious voodoo things to gain some luck or consecration for the continuance of rain in next year. Then he/she goes back to his doomed shithole village again. And of course in the next year, and years to come, there is no warranty to continues of his luck. So the same fuckin old story begins again. Moaning about anything, rain praying, asking god for some help, asking mullas/fortune tellers about incomming weather, killing some animals to make some holy sacrifice and what-damn-ever... .
And there's no one to tell him/her that they're so fucked up that nothing is going to change to any better situation.
Of course I didn't mention about those more fortunate and more idiot than before mentioned persons who earned more, and went to Mecca, Karbala and so many other damn places to spend their fuckin money.
So what do you think? What's OUR (I said OUR, It means it's mine too. When I think about my own problems, really I think I'm going to be nuts, I wish blogger has yahoos smilies that let me show you my face in that situation!) problem? I think I can't even begin to talk about it (I think all of internet servers, doesn't have the enough capacity to store the final report!!!)
I think, most of our problems are native. It's in our general Iranian soul. They're our specialty! How many other nations do you know that achieve this level of idiotness!!? But some of them are global. They're common on this planet. (Does it ever occur to you to think about this problem and topic that, are we - humans - masters of this planet - the only intelligent creatures in the world? I think we're too cheap for being that, at least maybe for another 2000 years!)
But I know in many other country, they're some think tanks existed, that works on their nations problems constantly. I hope, I wish we had some too....]

5. For gods sakes, How many lives does Ahmadinejads father have?! Read this. It says he was a good man and he was dead once in 1372!

6. I read a weblog that contains Mr. Rezazadehs some dancing films (I think it's in some Arabian country).
The dancing was nothing, but then the discussion about the right to publish such a film, that of course is a part of his private life, was so interesting for me. Just sometimes you may say to yourself that such a champion that someone's set him an example, better of any Hercules or whatever, and his loudly "Yaa Abolfazl" thing (now I'm resisting to call it crap!) doesn't build a nice picture with such scenes that mentioned. But I think it's really his natural right to dance whenever he wants and where ever he wants! (and personally I hate his loudly "Ya ..." Craps. It's my weblog and I wanted to say!! [Imagine me, someday in near future: Please, don't hit me anymore! Oh! Ya Abolfazl!....]). Read Yourself.

Another day ....

1. First of all, let me say thank to half of my dear friend Borna Mohamad (!!) or Borna himself! for sending me the link to this amazing site. It really made my day so much better! I feel like a whole new person!! It ace your mind. Simply, that man can write!....

2. Then, ladies and gentlemen, let me say thank to my dear OS (Operating System) Lab teacher, who forced me to play "Great Mind" (Fekre Bekr) game after 10 years! He set it my final project!! Wow! What did he really think?! I didn't heard these words (Fekre Bekr) in last 10-15 years!, but now, I have to write a full working game - in a Linux (!!) QT designer - till tomorrow, 9 a.m. sharp!!
So lets all hope another miracle - beside of our being alive everyday(!) [see yesterday article!] - happens and I find this game in some barby shop! And so lord helps me to write the code!.....

3. Today, I was sitting on a couch in the park near my home, actually I was translating the article that other half of my dear friend Borna Mohamad !! (who should be Mohamad!!) - as a our TA or whatever!.. - set 4 my project - 4 my whole Micro Lab mark(!) [It's actually a funny story!, they thought this lab may be boring 4 some of senior guys like me(!) because we're too old!!!!!! But honestly THANX to them! ;) ], - and suddenly I noticed that I'm surrounded by about 3500 years old humans! - of course it's sum of their ages, you genius! - I was shocked! first, I thought they want to use my great mind and greater experiences of my glorious life (!) - but then I noticed, when I was translating, one old guy sat beside me on that special couch, and he wasn't seen over months, and every one of his mates, thought he's dead(!!). And about a 50 ancient but great men and women surrounded us!, so unfortunately, now, I'm so experienced in every detail of every park in this great city and actually I can be specialist in retired persons life.
So, one day if U need any help about these matters, I'm at your service!

Did you ever think about ....

Did you ever think about why we're still alive in this country?!
It seems like a miracle to me!
for example read this !!!

It's maybe a joke, but I swear, there're lots of true facts in it!
I don't wanna be pessimist, but let's see:

1) Generally our government sucks, really! (include many other things in our motherland)
[I really doubt that it had been any better in our last kingdoms, so why better in this one?]
2) Most of us are that desperate that, we even can't build the life that our parents built (and of course most of us think, they suck too!)
3) How much useful work we do everyday? What's our real outcome? (In real world of course, not in some fantasy or parallel universe...)
4) How many of us, have a bit of a clue about (even) near future (not 15-20 years later)?

Everyone in this country think that, doing their job is a huuuuuuuuugggge favor for others!
for example to get a piece of damn paper to get me out of my beloved country (for only 3 damn days), I'm running for about a month now, but I don't see any chance....
For second term, I was trying to sign in 'Gote' German language classes (in Dolat St.) But even they seem to be affected by living in this glorious country(!). The first time they said to me, that I had to get a reservation number, so I can not subscribe. Come back in three month (!), then I got my reservation number (about 2-3 months ago) quickly. I call them twice to check and finally it seemed OK. Yesterday when I went there to check (for being sure) again, they said: Hi! Come back in Shahrivar!
(then in response to my Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(!), they said:) No, U Got reservation number. U had 2 came back here again and got a Subscription Number too!!!.
Oh! [...] them! They may think they work in Pentagon(!).
I don't know. Is it in the air?! Or maybe water? Is it poisoned? For gods sake, they're Germans. They should be disciplined, not like us convert any situation to hell for everyone. It seems they lived a few years in this country and now they became so much like US!

Hey! But don't worry! WE'LL GO TO PARADISE !! (but not them!)